Some Quotes from My Mom

"Our house growing up was a two-bedroom stucco, and I slept on a couch in my parents' room the entire time we lived there. I still like the feel of the back of the couch against my back, and instead of rolling over and facing the couch, I switched ends lengthwise so my back still remained against the couch." 
---Mom sharing with me about her growing up years.

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"Two other girls were chasing your Daddy when I was chasing him. I just outran them."

---Mom worked at the confectionary in downtown Three Rivers, and two other of her friends worked downtown and they all had a crush on Jimmy Casey, who worked at House Hardware down the street. Momma was the one who caught him.

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"The time we lived on the farm was the hardest time of my life, but on Friday nights, we would go to the drive-in movie. I'd work so hard to get everything ready-- three children bathed and put in their pajamas, Kool-aid and hotdogs made for supper, and then we'd head to the movie. Looking forward to that each week was what saved me during those years."
---Mom sharing about the early years of my parents' marriage when she had three little ones in diapers, a wringer washer on the porch and a never-ending clothesline.

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"Fort Stockton was one of the ugliest towns we lived in, but it had beautiful people."
---It's been almost fifty years since they lived in Ft. Stockton, but Mom and Dad still keep up with friends they made there. 

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"You'd be a lot happier if you didn't think so much." 
---She told me that years ago when I was probably over-thinking, over-analyzing something like I often did.

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"They installed a Sears die-hard battery in me."
---Mom's comment on her pace-maker operation in 2000.

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"A loving family, a beautiful home, and getting to watch the Spurs... it doesn't get any better than this."
---Mom told me in November 2010

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"My silk pajama top is long enough to wear by itself, so if I really want to be sexy...
     I wear the bottoms, too."
-- Mom told us when she was in her sixties or seventies

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Caught, rather than taught from my parents:

• Love your family
• Laugh often
• Live within your means
• Live honestly and with compassion
• Love and serve the Lord and others

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My Favorite Movies

A dear friend of mine worked so hard in her job for over thirty years, she saw very few movies during that time. Now that she's retired, she has time to watch movies, so I told her I would make a list of my favorites to save her from having to weed through the bad ones. I thought my list would probably be a dozen or so. Not so. And I'll probably keep coming back and adding to them as more come to mind.

The librarian in me is listing them by genre, and some titles will appear in more than one genre. And here's my caveat: I am not an expert in reviewing movies. I don't know all the technical stuff that goes on behind them. I usually go to a movie for entertainment, not torture, so the only heartrending or uncomfortable ones I list are movies I think are important to see*, usually involving some historical event or courageous person. The movies are in alphabetical order within each genre.

Adventure - 
Back to the Future - all
Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
Hook
Indiana Jones - all but the last one
The Jungle Book (not the animated one)
Knight & Day
Mission Impossible (w/Tom Cruise)
Pirates of the Caribbean - all

Animated - 
Brave
Cars
Finding Nemo
How to Train Your Dragon
Monsters Inc.
Shrek - all
Tangled
Toy Story - all
Up
WALL-E

Biographical - 

Braveheart*

Coal Miner's Daughter

Lincoln*

The Miracle Worker (w/ Anne Bancroft)

Schindler's List*

Fantasy - 

Enchanted

The Fall

Harry Potter - all

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

The Princess Bride

The Wizard of Oz

Historical Drama - 

Australia

The Fall
Far & Away

Gladiator*

Good Ol' Boys
The Help*

Last of the Mohicans

Saving Private Ryan*

Schindler's List*

To Kill a Mockingbird*

Zero Dark Thirty*

Humorous - 

Big
Christmas Vacation

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Good Ol' Boys
Nacho Libre

Princess Bride

Musical - 

The Sound of Music

Mystery/Suspense - 

The Client

The Firm

Witness (w/ Harrison Ford)

Romance - 

Australia 

Ever After

Far & Away

Lady Hawke

Last of the Mohicans

Man From Snowy River

Pride & Prejudice (w/ Keira Knightley)

The Princess Bride

The Scarlett Pimpernel

The Sound of Music

Sci-Fi - 

Avatar

Sixth Sense

Star Trek - (the prequel with Chris Pine)

Star Wars - (the early ones)

Thor (I can hear my son-in-law groan at this one, but I enjoyed it)

I didn't choose these for the actors or an outstanding performance or an original idea. I chose them for the stories they told, and for most of them, they made me feel good walking out of the theater. I wouldn't mind seeing some of them again and again. I don't mind admitting that I like happy endings. I want a movie to surprise me, thrill me, bring me to tears, and/or to make me laugh. The Pixar movies almost always hit every range of emotion in me-- they are all so well done. Avatar blew me away with the technology and creativity. I didn't go see it for all the subtle and blatant environmental messages. I went to watch a good story, and it didn't disappoint me.

I like a good romantic movie, but I don't like to watch graphic nudity or sex in a movie. It makes me feel like a peeping Tom, and I believe most stories can be told just fine without it, or leave it to our imaginations, please. One of the most romantic scenes that I've seen in a movie is in The Last of the Mohicans when Hawkeye and Cora are hugging each other. [And I realize the book is very different from the movie]. Every time I see Pride and Prejudice, I love it even more. 

I'm sure there are other movies that I can add to this list, but these will keep my friend busy for a while.

Pantry Redo

I said a few posts back that I would share a bit more about our pantry remodel. Our pantry's dimensions are approximately 2'x3'x11' high.

It only had three deep shelves to start off with, as seen in the photos above, and that meant the pantry was like a dark cave since the light only shined on the top shelf. (unlike these pictures where the photo flash lit everything up well). We could see only what was in the fronts of the shelves, the backs held unorganized stacks of mystery food and supplies. 

The distance between the pantry light and the top shelf was approximately six feet of wasted space. 

We didn't realize that each of the deep shelves were made up of two boards, so we removed the front boards and created six shallow shelves in the closet by adding support braces on the walls. The shelves used the entire 11' of the height of the closet.

We used existing material stored in our garage to create rows of shallow shelves on the right side for canned goods and smaller food items. 

There is not a blind spot in the pantry now-- we can see everything at a glance. The pantry light finally lights up the whole food closet. On the left side, we added hooks and ceramic insulators we found in the attic to hang things on.

The project didn't cost Dad and me anything but our time to do this, and we finished it in a few hours one day. We're so happy with it, we still drag unsuspecting guests to the kitchen to see our pantry re-do. : )

Gangy Update

Gangy and August, her youngest great grandchild
 and a big six-month-old boy old now. 

About the only time she can hold him now is when he's sleeping. 

Mom uses her "Hot Wheels" power chair during almost all of her waking hours now. We were able to take it to our family Christmas get-together on MLK's birthday weekend recently, and it was nice for her to have the mobility there instead of having to wait for someone to move her around in her push chair. I think she put it off as long as possible, but it's been much less stressful not having to worry about her falling while using her walker.

Dad takes her to the beauty shop once a week, and hopefully, she'll be able to go back to church after the flu season. They watch the services on dvd for now. I'm hoping she'll eventually go with Dad when he walks to the library each week; it's only two short blocks from our house.

She can still use her hands to write or spell out words in the air to communicate, since she hasn't been able to speak for quite a while now. She's still able to eat some, although most bulbar ALS patients at the same stage have long since stopped due to the choking hazard. She spends her days watching her favorite TV shows, reading, corresponding with friends who've been so kind to write to her. She has about twenty Words with Friends games going at any given time, and she helps Dad with the bills. She had always been the accountant and bill payer in their marriage, but about a year ago she began "training" Dad to start doing it. Her most important job is helping Dad and me remember stuff-- we are both so forgetful, and she still has the best mind in the house.

My daughter Vanessa comes over with my three grandkids one afternoon a week, and we always enjoy  seeing them. Finn (6 years old) is Dad's helper; he bonded with Dad from the time he was a baby, and they are always tinkering on something together outside or in PaPaw's workshop. Last week they trimmed the crepe myrtles; yesterday they planted onions in the garden. 

Mom is currently in her 46th month of ALS, which began with her speech slurring and eventually paralyzing her tongue. It's gradually moved to her limbs with her muscles weakening and taking away her ability to walk. I can't imagine how frightening it must be for her knowing what's coming, but she is so brave, and continues to think of others' well-being. We know the road ahead is not going to be easy, but God has been with us every step of the way and will continue to give us the grace to endure. We appreciate your prayers, and we can definitely feel the effects of them. 

I've really enjoyed living with my parents the past four years. I hear nightmare stories about families who don't get along, but my parents are the exception. I've learned that Mom has spoiled Dad pretty good all these years, but now he's getting the opportunity to be her hero as he so sweetly takes care of her. I love watching their relationship.

We still laugh often, I still ask her advice about cooking, and I'm grateful to get to spend time with her. She is one of my best friends, and it's an honor for me to be able to help her at this time in her life. 

Grandparent Quotes & Thoughts & Facts

Grandparents prefer

• the old to the new
• the porch to a night on the town
• the comfortable rather than the fashionable
• the familiar rather than the unfamiliar
• paid in full instead of monthly installments
• the past and present over the future

                                         ...or at least mine did.

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As a little girl, my grandmother, Zelma Lois Cranfill Beights Valentine, traveled around Texas in a covered wagon, but before she turned sixty years old, she watched men land on the moon. All in one lifetime!

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Granny Valentine made over a quarter million biscuits- one small pan at a time- during her life. She started at around eight years old when her mother was bed-ridden during one of her pregnancies. Zel stood on a box so she could work at the counter while her mother instructed her on how to make biscuits.

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"A loving family, a beautiful home, & getting to watch the Spurs... it doesn't get any better than this."

- Isla Ruth Beights Casey, 2010,

grandmother to Van, Jenna, Vanessa, RJ, Kyle, Lance, Graham, Gary, Allee & Isla

great-grandmother to Audrie, Finn, August, Brooke, Morgan, & Justin

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"They installed a Sears Diehard battery in me."

- Isla's comment on her pacemaker operation, 2000

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PaPa Chock Valentine only paid seventeen dollars interest 

during his lifetime. He paid cash for everything else.

He and my grandmother lived modestly, but they were debt free.

And they still left a substantial legacy 

of land and money to their children.

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Beyond "Mommy and Daddy said so"

My parents raised me going to church. I didn't see the second half of The Wizard of Oz until I was in junior high because we didn't miss Training Union on Sunday nights until Training Union slipped into obscurity. And for some reason back then, the TV network always showed The Wizard of Oz once a year and always on a Sunday night. [This was years before VCRs and DVRs]. My parents not giving in to our whining to stay home and finish it was a powerful statement to me about their priorities.

But forty years later, I don't attend church or follow my faith just because Mommy and Daddy said so, although I appreciate their efforts. There should come a time in every individual's life where one questions one's upbringing, traditions, truth, and faith, or lack thereof. I accepted Christ officially into my life around seven years old, but I fully committed my life to him in my early twenties. That was when I cut the traditional-spiritual umbilical cord from my parents.

I was in college, and a speech class one semester was torturous for me when the teacher spent much of the time throwing very controversial issues at us and challenging the majority to persuade the minority to believe as they did. For issues like legalizing drugs, lowering the drinking age, and abortion, the majority was all on board. I didn't have a problem with inter-racial marriage, but the majority did. I had a problem marrying outside the faith, but the majority didn't. Without exception, I was in the minority on every issue and was bombarded from every side to abandon my beliefs and come over to the majority's side. Often I drove home from class in tears because I realized much of what I believed was "because Mommy and Daddy said so." I appreciate the class now because it forced me to question my beliefs, and then crystalize and know exactly why I believed what I believed.

I learned that I didn't agree with everything my denomination taught, but I eventually knew without a doubt that I was walking the right path with the God of the Bible, which teaches that a relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to God the Father. And if we don't like that, we need to remind ourselves that God is God, and He can set things up in His creation however He sees fit. But comparing my faith to some of the other well-known religions, how many of those worship and honor a living God? My God is a God of love, not hate. He does not expect us to proselytize others through force or kill those who do not believe as we do. He does not require us to avenge Him by threatening death to someone who insults Him. He's big enough to handle that Himself, and He chooses to extend grace to those who despise Him. I'm so thankful I live in a country that allows me to express my faith without worrying about someone trying to kill me because I believe differently than they do.

But on a more personal level, my faith forces me to look inward. God is the only thing that keeps my totally self-serving-self at bay. When our culture preaches that the narcissist, entitled, self-indulgent lifestyle "because we deserve it" attitude is what we should aspire to, God wants us to live an "others-centered" lifestyle and exhibit grace and forgiveness toward others because that's what He's done for us through Christ.

It's unfortunate that so many secular history books have stripped the influences of the Christian faith from our country's history. The lack of freedom from a government-mandated religion was why many people fled to America's shores. Our Founding Fathers freely expressed their faith and its influence in the forming of our country. Our society's morals and work ethic were founded on Judeo-Christian principles. Many of the colleges and universities were founded by religious institutions until they became secularized. Many of the abolitionists and later those involved with the Civil Rights movement were people of faith. Many hospitals, orphanages, drug rehabs, and soup kitchens were started because God impressed upon believers of the need to help. How many of the angry religions can say the same about the good their faith has done for mankind?

My faith allows me the freedom to question and the freedom to grow. God is no less insecure when I question certain aspects about my faith. I'm sure there will be some things that I'll never have the answer to this side of life. And I love the hope and assurance that this brief wisp of time we call life is only a prelude to an eternity with Him face to face.

As a friend of mine told me, "the Christian life is the best way to live one's life." And I don't know how people cope during the difficulties we all face in life without a relationship with God. I'm so grateful that I was raised by parents who believed in God and put their faith in Him. And that is the most important legacy I can leave my own children, who also have the freedom to question their beliefs and choose whatever path the their spirit leads them.

Miraculous Grace

It was Thursday afternoon in October of 2008, and my parents and I were buying a house together in a new community. Our closing date was on the following Wednesday morning at 9:00 a.m. I planned to borrow a substantial amount of money from my annuity for part of the down payment, and I was so proud of myself for not waiting until the last minute to call the out-of-state company to ask them to transfer the money into my bank account.

My heart dropped when I was told by a very nice lady that they didn't do transfers, that their policy was to cut a check and mail it. Then she said that since it was after 3:00 p.m. on Thursday, the request wouldn't go in until the next day-- Friday.

Okay, I thought to myself. The check will still have time to get here by Tuesday.

Then she said that I could expect the check in five to ten business days.

Breathe, Donna. This can't be happening.

Then I learned that Monday was a holiday, and the banks and post office would be closed.

There was no way that check could get here by Tuesday. And I still had to go to the bank to deposit it, and then get a money order because the bank wouldn't be open before our closing Wednesday morning, which took place in a nearby town.

By this time I started panicking. I tried to think of someone I could borrow the money from until the check arrived, but most of the people I knew didn't have that amount of discretionary money sitting around. I thought about my son who was stationed overseas, but by the time he got the message and contacted his bank, they weren't able to make the transaction in time either. Over the weekend a dear friend in Houston offered to loan me the money, but I hated for her to go to all that trouble, and it would mean a drive over there because the post office wouldn't be able to deliver it in time since they were closed on Monday. And I had to work on Monday.

And then it dawned on me that even if the check did arrive on time, banks often required three to five days to clear the check before the funds could be withdrawn. It looked hopeless.

I had no doubt that we were supposed to buy this house. Some extraordinary events happened in that process. I came to town one day to see a larger home we were considering buying, but I'd also seen this cute, cottage-looking house online that was too small for us to buy, but I wanted my realtor to walk me through it because it had a big porch on the front, and I loved porches. Then when I first walked through it, I just knew it was the house we were supposed to buy. But before my parents could get up here to see it, the house sold.

I couldn't get it off my mind, though, and I asked my realtor to keep me posted about the house. She told me it was a done deal, that the listing was already taken off the Web. But then a couple of weeks later she called me and said, "You're not going to believe this, but the house is back on the market. The buyers' financing fell through, but they're still looking to finance through some other means, so there's a small window of opportunity here." My parents immediately came up and looked at the house, and in three days, we had an offer on the table, and it was accepted.

My house had sold in nine days, and at that time I was living temporarily with my daughter and her family until my parents and I found this house to buy. Now it was time to close on our dream home, and my mistake put the transaction in jeopardy. I remember lying in bed with my face to the wall with no solution coming to mind, and all I could say to God was, "I'm so sorry I messed up, but I trust You. I trust You. I trust You."

On Tuesday I went to the post office on my lunch break, and I pulled out an envelope with no return address. I first thought it was junk mail and almost threw it away, but I decided to open it up and was shocked to find a check for $20,000 dollars. I stared at it, amazed that it had arrived in time. But then I remembered that the bank would have to wait until it cleared before they released the funds.

I took the check to my bank to deposit it, and I asked the teller how long I needed to wait until I was able to get a money order I needed to close on our house. She looked at it and said I could get it right now. I figured she misunderstood me, so I asked her again how long I needed to wait until the check cleared, and she said very nicely again that I could get it right now. I asked her how that could be, and she showed me the check and said that this out of state company just happened to use the same bank as mine, and because of that, they didn't have to hold the funds for a period of time like they would for any other check on any other bank.

I stood there in shock. And then I started laughing out loud. They probably thought I'd gone crazy there for a minute, so I told the tellers what had just happened-- that God had done the impossible. I had the money order in hand the next morning when we closed on the house.

I pull that story out of my head every so often to remind myself that God is still a God of miracles, and that when I can see no way out of a situation or no solution to a problem, that He can still overcome any obstacle, even those times when it's my mistake. That doesn't mean my life has been problem-free, and I've been given plenty of difficulties to learn from, but I'm so grateful for those moments He's showered his grace on me in a miraculous way. Amazing.

Family picture taken on the porch of our new home

Thanksgiving 2008