Saying Goodbye

One of the foundation characters of my mom's favorite soap, The Bold and the Beautiful, made a permanent exit from the show today. I haven't watched a soap opera in thirty years, but I couldn't help but catch snatches of it walking through the living room while Mom had the TV on. I found myself holding back sobs watching Susan Flannery, portraying the matriarch Stephanie Forrester, touchingly play out her last scenes reconciled with her arch-nemesis Brooke. I'm glad the writers ended it that way.

The storyline hit a little too close to home with my mother entering the difficult stages of ALS. I fluctuate between keeping a happy face on, which I sometimes confuse with denial, and watching my beautiful mother deteriorate daily. I pray that God helps me to be sensitive to her needs, trying to find a good balance between doing what I can for her versus not taking away her independence and need to feel needed, and that balance isn't always easy to find.

It bothers her tremendously to be so helpless and have to depend on others to help her do little things like help her out of the chair, help her dress, and cook for her. She even wrote me a note apologizing for being so helpless and that we ought to put her in a nursing home. That broke my heart. I told her that she has years of 'help credit' built up from all she's done for us, and that I'm happy to be here for her. She is the most giving person I know. We want to keep her home as long as possible if we're capable of taking care of her.

On Fridays I take her to the beauty shop in her wheel chair, and for twenty minutes, I get to read the magazines. I was flipping through a People magazine and came across an interview with the wonderful singer Amy Grant. The photos were of her family, and the biggest one was Amy and her father walking together outside. She lost her mother in 2011, and the article said both parents suffered from dementia.

She shared something that really struck home with me. She said, "A friend told me, 'This is the last great lesson that your parents will teach you.' That changed everything. I've learned that even tough situations are beautiful."

I never thought about this being a lesson. I just know that I want to do it well. I want to make these days as good as they can be for my mother, and even though things are getting hard, I'm grateful for the extra time I have with her.

An Innocent Condemned

And they laid hold of him, caged him, and covered it with a cloth so no one could see him. They led him away to the lower court, where the justices were assembled. Many false witnesses testified against him with the following claims:

• "He ruined my life!"
• "He embarrassed me and my family!"
• "He is unwanted around here!"
• He showed up at the wrong time!"
• He demands too much of me-- his cost is too great!"

And the judge stood up and said to the accused, "Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony these people are bringing against you?"

But the accused remained silent.

The chief justice asked the one hidden from sight, "Are you alive or not?" He turned to the crowd and said, "I hear nothing from the defendant." He ordered the captors to remove the cloth so that he could see him.

"We object, your Honor," the lawyers said. "We cannot allow you to see him lest you are beguiled and misled by his appearance. Listen to our words: we assure you he is not viable on his own-- he is a parasite living off others."

"Why do we need any more witnesses?" the judge said. He turned to the crowd of people and asked, "What do you think?"

"He is worthy of death!" they answered.

Now while all this was happening, Iglesia sat in the courtyard watching from a distance when a servant girl came to him.

"You fend for the accused," she said.

But he denied it before them all. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Then he went out to the gateway where another woman saw him and addressed him. "This man supports the undesirable!" she said to the people there.

He denied it again, with an oath. "That's your concern, not mine! I don't have time for such things!"

After a little while, those standing there went up to Iglesia and said, "Surely you are for the captive, for your name gives you away."

Iglesia was adamant in his denial-- even to the point of cursing. "That's none of my business! Leave me alone!"

"Then you're one of us," they crowed.

And when Iglesia realized his indifference condoned their actions, he went outside and wept bitterly.

When the morning came, the council reconvened, and the verdict was confirmed. But this judge did not have the power of final condemnation, so an appeal was made to the Supreme Court.

The justices of the highest court listened to all the arguments and witnesses of the previous trial, and still the accused made no reply, to the amazement of some of the judges who saw nothing that warranted killing the defendant.

While the Chief Justice sat on the judge's seat, his wife sent him this message: Don't have anything to do with that innocent, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream about it.

Now it was the custom at this time of year for the Court to release a prisoner chosen by the crowd. At that time they held a notorious prisoner called Choice, who could've lived an honorable life, but instead chose to stir rebellion, commit murder, and steal.

Surely they would choose the innocent, the Chief Justice thought, not realizing some very visible and vocal groups had swayed public opinion to do otherwise.

So when the crowd had gathered, the Chief Justice asked them, "Which one do you want me to release to you?"

"Choice! Give us Choice!" they answered.

"What shall I do, then, with the accused?"

"Kill him!" they all cried.

"Why? What crime has he committed?" asked the Chief Justice.

But they shouted all the louder, "Kill him!"

When the Chief Justice saw that he was getting nowhere, but an uproar was starting instead, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. "I am blameless of the blood of this innocent. It is your responsibility!"

All the people answered, "Let his blood be on us and on our children!"

Then the Chief Justice released Choice to them and handed over the condemned one to be killed. As they were carrying the draped cage out of the courtyard, one of the captors stumbled, and the cloth slipped to one side.

"Don't look," someone yelled in the crowd, "lest you are beguiled and change your mind!"

Most everyone-- all but a few-- turned their heads and covered their eyes while the cloth covered the truth again. They continued to carry the accused to his death.

A sharp intake of breath was heard among the crowd.

"Did you see him?" one asked another. "What did you see?"

"Surely my eyes deceived me," she said.

"What!? Was he horrible?"

"No... it was a baby," she whispered, "just a tiny baby..."

"But this judgment isn't about killing a baby, right?"

"Of course not. It's about the freedom of Choice... isn't it?"

An unnatural darkness descended over the land, and an eerie rumbling shook the ground.

Truth seeped into their hearts as they looked at one another.

"Surely this was a child of God."

"What have we done?"